(This article was originally published on May 18th, 2008. It was the second article I published on that day. Gay marriage was big in the news at the time.)
Recently California´s Supreme Court ruled that gay people could marry each other. Personally, I don´t see what the big deal is. Why do you need to ask permission from the government to live with someone in a manner you both see fit? I lived with the same woman for nineteen years without asking permission from the government, or from anyone else but her for that matter. We raised five children together, without the permission of the authorities. We even had *gasp* sex together without permission from the government control freaks. When we broke up it was quite amicable and once again we involved no government agencies and therefore avoided handing our power over to others. My situation is proof that two reasonable people can live together as a couple for many, many years and then split up without government involvement.
Just for the record, I couldn´t care less about gay marriage. To me it is a non-issue. If two men or two women want to shack up together, share expenses, hold and kiss each other and snuggle together, have sex with each other, and share the burdens and joys of day to day life together, that´s their business and nobody else´s. Even if they want to raise children together it shouldn´t matter to anyone else so long as they provide a loving, caring home. What difference does that make to anyone else? They are not hurting others. They are not forcing others to bend to their wills. They are not destroying or stealing someone else´s private property. There is no crime taking place and what goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults should only concern those who are engaging in the activities. If two people, gay or otherwise, want to contract with each other in terms of living arrangements, that is up to them. If they want to do so with God or some other supernatural entity as their witness, that is up to them and their church. Government has no business getting involved in marriages or in people´s private lives in general.
I don´t believe all this hype about gay marriage ruining family values. People have been gay for millennia. Many gay people have said they were born that way and I´ve no reason to disbelieve them. The thought of kissing a man, of falling in love with him deeply and passionately as I would a woman, disgusts me. I can´t come to grips with the concept in my head. You see, I was born a heterosexual. I remember thinking about pretty girls in that manner when I was very young, long before I reached puberty. You could never have "taught" me to be gay. I helped keep my family together and raised my children because of the person I am, not because of my sexuality. I don´t see why the same couldn´t be true for someone who´s gay. No, it´s not gay marriage or gay anything that´s ruining family values in America. If anything, it´s government involvement in the institution of marriage and the politicians´ lust for control and power over people´s private lives that is.
I considered myself married for nineteen years. I was faithful to my wife and did everything a husband would be expected to do. I did so without a "license" from the state. I suppose I´m lucky I never got caught by the authorities, else I might have gotten a ticket for being married without a license. You might think I´m being sarcastic about that last statement. You might think the government would never ticket anyone for living with another without a license, but you never know what kind of silliness these legislators might come up with next. You never know what kind of laws they might come up with, what kind of fees and fines they might force upon an unsuspecting public just to keep their ship of state afloat.
It seems fitting that Massachusetts and California, two of the most socialist states in the Union, should be the first two to recognize gay marriage. That´s what socialism is about, control. They want you to have no choice in what you do, in either your private or business life. They want to make sure they get their cut no matter what the business is, where it takes place, or how the money is exchanged. Licensing is just another way for them to make money and they´ll happily grant one to anyone willing to jump through their hoops and pay their fees. And they hold a monopoly on granting licenses, so they can refuse to grant licenses to anyone they want for any reason they want. In any case, I never needed permission from the state to conduct my personal affairs. I needed no one to tell me who I could cohabitate or have children with. I just did what nature has meant for people to do since the dawn of time. That´s what free people do.
I always figured if anyone knew about tyranny, gay people did. I figured that if anyone had any idea of what freedom truly meant, it would be gay people, for they´ve had to endure social ostracism and the tyranny of the majority for thousands of years. Why they would suddenly start begging the state to give them permission to enter into personal agreements together is beyond me. Why they would cry to the state to "recognize" their unions instead of just living their lives as they see fit confounds me. If it´s so they can get their piece of the socialist pie and receive money that´s been stolen from others than they are just accessories to a crime and guilty of helping to give extortionists legitimacy. They are actually helping to perpetuate the same tyranny that has been oppressing them for ages. If you act like a slave, you will be treated like one. If you act like a child asking a parent for permission, then the government will happily act like the parent.
It´s time for all of us, gay or straight, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, or Native peoples, male or female, to start acting like free individuals. Only then will we be treated like free individuals. Only then will government remove their fingers from our private lives and remove the mandates they have set before us. We need the government out of the marriage business. If you want licensing, then have churches, private doctors or psychiatrists handle them, not the cold, faceless bureaucracy that has a monopoly on it right now. Let the marketplace determine the demand for such services. Of course, free people will soon begin to understand that they need no one´s permission to live freely and so demand for such services might soon disappear. It´s no big deal. After all, people were engaging in sexual relationships long before the first government formed and will continue to engage in such relationships long after the last government folds.